The largest disappointments in our lives are often the results of misplaced expectations. This is especially very true relating to our relationships and interactions with others.
We put ourselves by means of pointless struggling and suffering when we have unreasonable expectations for others. In fact, all of us deserve basic things in relationships, like respect, however relying on something other than that may leave you sorely disappointed.
Tempering your expectations of other people will greatly reduce unnecessary frustration, struggling and suffering, in each your life and theirs, and allow you to refocus on the things that actually matter.
Keep in mind that everyone seems to be at a unique place on their journey, so their words and actions will reflect that.
Here are just a few important things you need stop expecting from others that you should be aware of, because if you manage to change certain unhealthy expectations in your life, you will open yourself up to new things and you’ll even allow yourself to enjoy all kinds of new experiences.
1. Stop Expecting People to Always Agree With You
Even one of the best friends don’t agree on everything, so don’t get upset when people challenge what you say, or just simply have a different opinion. The world could be fairly boring if nobody ever disagreed; our unique perspectives and beliefs allow the planet to keep evolving and moving towards better solutions.
You deserve to be completely happy. You deserve to live a life you are excited about. Don’t let the opinions of others make you forget that. You are not in this world to live up to the expectations of others, nor should you really feel that others are here to live up to yours. Some might not agree with yours and this is not a thing that should make you seek approval from everybody round you. Actually, the more you approve of your own decisions in life, the much less approval you need from everybody else.
You need to dare to be yourself, and follow you own intuition, however frightening or strange that may feel or prove to be. Don’t compare yourself to others. Don’t get discouraged by their progress or success. Follow your own path and stay true to your own purpose. Success is ultimately about spending your life happily in your own way.
2. Stop Expecting People to Like You
This is one of the most important things you need to stop expecting from others. You may really feel unwanted and unworthy to at least one person, however you might be priceless to another. Don’t ever forget your worth. Spend time with those who value you. No matter how good you might be to people, there will always be one negative person who criticises you, who will say mean things to or about you. Just smile, ignore them, and carry on. Surround yourself with people who really value your opinion and make you feel loved and accepted. Be yourself in every situation, no matter what other people say or think!
In this crazy world that’s trying to make you like everybody else, the hardest battle you’ll ever have to fight and struggle is the battle to be yourself. And as you’re fighting back, not everybody will like you. Sometimes people will call you names since you’re “totally different.” However that’s completely OK. The things that make you completely different are the things that make YOU, and believe me, the right people will love you for it.
3. Stop Expecting People to Know What You’re Thinking
People can’t read minds. They will never know what you are really thinking or how you are feeling unless you tell them what that is. Your boss? He doesn’t know you’re hoping for a promotion because you haven’t told him yet. That cute guy you haven’t talked to because you’re too shy? You guessed it, he hasn’t given you the time of day simply because you haven’t given him the time of day either.
In life, you have to communicate with others regularly and effectively. And often, it’s important to open your vocal cords and speak the first words. It’s important to tell people what you’re thinking. It’s as simple as that.
Some people have a more finely tuned intuition, however others just simply can’t read feelings or faces as well. Just because you may be more sensitive and understanding of how others really feel doesn’t mean other people are on the same wavelength. Not everybody needs to become a psychic, so express yourself clearly so others don’t have to guess your thoughts all the time. Honest, open communication builds stronger relationships, too.
4. Stop Expecting People to Suddenly Change
If there’s a specific behaviour someone you care about has that you’re hoping disappears over time, it probably won’t. If you really need them to change something, be honest and put all the cards on the table so this person knows how you feel and what you need them to do.
People are habitual. We like things to be constant. It’s comfortable. We can change, but it takes time. If you desire someone else to change, you need to start with yourself. You don’t have the power to change anyone other than yourself, and once you realise that, your life will be a lot happier.
For the most part though, you can’t change people and you shouldn’t try. Either you accept who they are or you choose to live without them. It’s might sound harsh, but it’s not. When you try to change people, they often remain the same, but when you don’t try to change them – when you support them and allow them the freedom to be as they are – they gradually change in the most beautiful way. Because what really changes is the way you see them.
Learn to love and accept people just the way they are without constantly trying to change them in order to suit your needs. Allow people to be who they really are and you’ll see that you start seeing them from a new and different perspective.
5. Stop Expecting People to Always Do The “Right Thing”
People’s morals and ethics differ based on a lot of factors, like their upbringing, culture, spiritual beliefs, etc. Expecting people to do right in your eyes will always end in frustration, because right and wrong aren’t clearly defined. Just focus on adhering to your own morals, and let others live as they choose, as long as it doesn’t hurt you or the people you care about.
Life isn’t always fair and people don’t always do the right thing. Your morals and your values will not always be the same as other people’s. Learn to accept that and don’t be so disappointed the next time someone’s behaviour might not rise to your expectations.
The right thing for them might be precisely what they did do. That’s why you should always try to clarify first what is acceptable and what is not, so there won’t be any misunderstandings.
6. Stop Expecting People to Treat You How You Treat Them
Ideally, everybody would follow the golden rule, however we don’t live in a perfect world. Until everybody turns into more conscious, we will just simply have to accept that people will still treat us poorly because they lack a true relationship with themselves. View their perspective from a compassionate stance, and you won’t really feel so hurt if people don’t treat you as kindly as you treat them.
7. Stop Expecting People to be “OK.”
Be kinder than necessary, for everybody you meet is fighting some type of battle, just like you. Every smile or sign of strength hides an inner struggle every bit as complex and extraordinary as your own.
Do not forget that embracing your light doesn’t mean ignoring your dark. We’re measured by our ability to overcome adversities and insecurities, not keep away from them. Supporting, sharing and making contributions to other people is one of life’s greatest rewards. This happens naturally if we allow it, because we all share very similar dreams, needs and struggles. As soon as we accept this, the world then is a place where we can look someone else in the eye and say, “I’m lost and struggling at the moment,” and they can nod and say, “Me too,” and that’s OK. Because not being “OK” all the time, is perfectly OK.
8. Stop Expecting People to Drop Everything for You
You’re not the only one who has bad days. Family members and friends should be someone you can count on to help you when life gets hard, however don’t abuse these relationships. Learn to take care of yourself. Being independent is healthy. You shouldn’t must to insist that you simply do everything on your own, however you don’t want to keep putting your family members and friends in a position that causes them to miss out on important events in their lives because they are helping you.
Having expectations is about discovering balance in life. You have to know when you’re asking too much and when you can ask for more. It can be hard but we all need to let go of our unrealistic expectations and learn to live a healthier, happier life.
SO REMEMBER: Learn to be independent and don’t rely on other people so much! Everyone has bad days and your friends and family shouldn’t drop everything they’re doing every time you’re facing a problem or a new challenge. I know that a bit of support from your loved ones will help you a lot, but you shouldn’t abuse their love and ask them to give up on #everything just to be by your side every time you are having a small crisis.
Be strong and try to take care of your own problems! People rarely act the way you expect them to act and most of the time, they don’t even know what you want from them. Try to notice when you are asking too much or when you need to ask for more, and find the right balance between your expectations and what you have to offer.
Have you ever expected too much from other people?
Have you been disappointed if those expectations were unrealistic?
Can you think of other important things you need to stop expecting from other people?
Please share your thoughts with us in the comments section!